Coming Back from the Darkness

So, that last rambling piece went no where that I planned for it to go, and that is okay, because something else rather significant was revealed to me. The three times in my life when I really and truly went crazy, due to major losses that I was not ready to handle, and now how do I process this all together, o that I can figure out what needs to be done with this one I am in the middle of right now. When Will left me, I was so shocked. The way he doted on me, and how he loved me so much. I was his sun and moon, and I did not even see that he was slipping away. Maybe because he still had that sun and moon attitude towards me, or maybe because I was so self absorbed with my stuff that I did not notice he was slipping away, flling for another girl, one who was more respoinsible and already had a kid. He wanted to go from chaotic drug use to domicility, and that was not where I was at in any way. I was still just stunned. I did not realize at first it was because he was seeing someone...

Sometimes, we look upon our lives, past, present, and future, and we are left wondering what really happened? Where was it that I took the wrong turn? Was it just one wrong turn, or maybe a series of events that landed me in this precarious and dark position I once thought I was now immune to. It is a longer story than I think I can tell in one post, or in one story, or hell, maybe it even makes a book. I have been writing bits and pieces of it here for quite some time, on and off and on and off again, but nothing seems to come to fruition like I want it to. I wonder, what is it I am trying to tell the world? What is it that I really want to share with the world?  I know, for one, I want to publish the story of my relapse, because I realized, when I finally reached out of the darkness for help....so many of my friends had similar experiences, we like to call them slips, but they never said a word to any of us, friends collegues, advocates, fighters for drug user justice. Had I kn...